Survival…it’s another name for parenthood.
I honestly feel like the last 6-12 months have been all about survival (maybe even the last 2 1/2 years). Which is why I think it’s a good acronym for parenthood.
Random thoughts as my birthday comes to a close:
I most definitely feel another year older. With every argument I have with NCL and every night of lost sleep..I feel like my aging is moving at a very rapid pace (I know I am not alone in this).
I totally get it. I understand why couples stop at 2 kids. It is very clear to me—wanting a “big family” has quickly been replaced with wanting a “good day” with NCL. I honestly can’t even imagine adding another human being to this rollercoaster.
I am told often “it gets easier” and “he won’t be like this forever”. At this point I believe people — but man, it’s hard to hold onto a future when you are living (and drowning) in the present struggles.
I have always told Joe that NCL was a good kid and he wasn’t as difficult as Joe said he was. Joe always says “we got the advanced model” — meaning the extra energetic, hard to deal with kid. I am finally going to have to agree with Joe. I have been around quite a few 2-3 year old kids lately and NCL stands out in the crowd….for many reasons. I am just thankful that I have a strong partner in this life because I am pretty sure I couldn’t deal with this on my own. I am cracking under pressure….I feel it every single day.
I go back to work in 1 1/2 weeks…I am terrified.
I have NO idea how I manage to get the laundry done. Or how I find time to load the dishwasher…how in the WORLD will I get these things done when I go back to work?
Today didn’t feel like my birthday. But I think that’s normal. It really IS just like any other day. Today was actually harder than most days…which is why NCL was in bed by 6:15pm. Too bad little Anthony is STILL awake and it’s 10:20pm. And if tonight is anything like the last 3+ weeks – NCL will be awake (crying) in about 45 minutes…and that will be the first awakening in the night. If we are lucky, it will only happen twice.
I got 2 gift certificates for the movies, for my birthday. I have to laugh because I have NO idea how we will ever use them. That would mean we would need to find a sitter for both kids…and it can’t be a late show because there is mo way we could stay awake. I guess we can wait a few years to cash in on the movie gift cards…as long as we don’t forget about them.
I am glad I have other Mom-friends that are experiencing similar trials — trying to survive with 2 kids. Just hearing them say “I totally know how you feel!” is comforting (somehow).
Potty training is a big commitment. I knew it would be. Maybe that is why we waited so long. I wonder how long it will take? We have yet to have a successful “public” potty. But he doing really well at home.
I usually LOVE shower time at night…the last few nights, I haven’t even wanted to take a shower. Bed sounds a whole lot better.
I wasn’t meant to be a preschool teacher (not that I ever wanted to be one), but after volunteering in the 2yr old VBS class at church this week (my sons class of 14 kids)…I have a new appreciation for ALL preschool teachers. They are angels. They are heroes. They are simply amazing.
Enough of my random thoughts. I could probably go on forever.
Time to shut the light out on 31 and begin the journey of 32. Good-night.



