What a day…a long, scary, emotional, tiring, worrisome, relieved day. When they said “parenting isn’t easy” – they really, really meant it.
I got a call at work on my cell phone, from Joe, around 10:20am today. I was in a company-wide meeting so I declined the call. He called right back and I declined again, thinking he just didn’t realize I was busy. He called a 3rd time and I knew I had to answer. The first thing he said was “Nicholas fell off the kitchen chair and hit his head, but he is ok.” It wasn’t like this was a strange call, nothing out of the ordinary. NCL falls all the time. Then Joe said, “I called 911 and I am following the ambulance to Children’s Hospital.”
HOLY COW!! — Yes, that is what I was thinking…as tears immediately formed in my eyes. I packed up my stuff in under 1 minute and headed towards the hospital.
I was so excited to see my boys when I got there. They were waiting in the ER waiting room. We were called back and introduced to our “room” (little did we know we would spend the next 6+ hours there). We certainly made it feel as “home-y” as we could.
The doctor came in and checked Nicholas – heard the story. We told her that we thought he had an ear infection (he had a low fever for a few days) and we were scheduled to see his doctor that same day. (This was totally separate from the fall, but we figured we would get an answer on why NCL hadn’t been sleeping good for 2 nights). Negative on the ear infection. Come to find out – NCL has Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease (HFMD).
Since NCL had fallen onto the floor, head first – and was knocked out cold….the doctor ordered a CT scan. We were glad that he would be checked out (you just never know with head injuries – and the fact that he was out cold, with his eyes rolled back, and his leg shaking….ugh….poor Joe). The HUGE problem with the test….they needed to knock him out, which meant he had to have an IV.
Joe was freaked about it. He hates needles. He hates hospitals. And he certainly hates the fact that his baby had to endure all this (for as much as Joe hates needles, I am pretty sure he would have taken Nicholas’ spot in a heartbeat).
We were assigned an intern to put the IV in NCL’s arm. After 2 attempts (that took a total of approx. 20 minutes)….I was just about to walk out of the hospital with Nicholas. We had to hold him down (all limbs) and hold his head down so he couldn’t see what was going on. The guy was fishing around in his arm WITH THE NEEDLE. Ugh – I can’t even tell you how sick I was about it. Joe and I both had tears in our eyes. NCL was screaming and fighting…it was awful. It truly was “baby torture” – SO much worse than normal shots.
The nurse came in for the 3rd try and she was successful (in his hand) in about 10 seconds. Whew….the hard part was over (for Nicholas).
Nicholas didn’t understand the “get-up” on his left hand/arm, but he really did great with it.
We finally got called back for the CT scan – just before we were about to get NCL to fall alseep (then he wouldn’t have to be knocked out with medicine for the test). No luck – the kid is a fighter.
The doctor told us that she would give him the medicine in his IV and that it would hurt going in, so we should expect NCL to scream/cry. I was holding him and as soon as the medicine went in, he looked me right in the eyes and screamed…with a sad, sad face. Talk about breaking a mom’s heart. And then, just like that…his eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp.
I don’t think I can explain how awful it was. Joe was right behind me and I could hear him say, “oohhhh.” I laid him down on the table, we both kissed his cheek and walked out of the room….and we were both crying. I pretty much lost it before we got to the hallway. Man, not only did I have to see my baby go under…but then I had to WALK AWAY! Those minutes in the hallway..felt like hours! Joe kept saying, “don’t you think it’s time, I want to see my baby.”
They opened the door (probably only 8-10 minutes later) and wheeled him out. He was sleeping on his side and I was just happy to see him. He went to recovery and we had to go to the waiting room (neither of us was happy about that!) We definitely wanted to sit with him and be with him the minute he woke up.
After about 10 minutes, they called us over the loud speaker and said only one parent could go back there. I was the chosen one this time (and I was thankful for that).
My little guy was still sleeping when I got to his bedside. I just put my hand on his head and prayed for him. (That was probably the 15th time I prayed for him that day). Speaking of prayer – we were so blessed to have SO many people supporting us, thinking about us, and most importantly – praying for us. A big THANKS to modern technology. Facebook was an amazing way to keep our family/friends updated. Our small group was also notified via email – we were able to keep them updated with real-time information. We were so thankful for the support — it’s so nice to know that you aren’t alone.
Since NCL wasn’t waking up on his own (he probably would have taken a pretty long nap if we would have let him), the nurse moved the bed up to force him to wake up. It was a joy to see those little blue eyes open. He looked a little scared when he woke up, but as soon as I got him to focus on me – all was better.
We had to wait an hour and a half for the results. The worst part about it was the fact that NCL hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since 6am. He went 11 hours total – without water. And poor little guy asked for it most of the day. We just changed the subject every time he said “Wa wa. Wa wa.” (Just more baby torture).
Among other things….reading kept NCL busy while we were in our room.
Just after 5pm (7 hours after the accident happened), NCL was given a clean bill of health (except for HFMD). His brain/head was perfect. And, he could finally have a drink! They immdiately brought gatorade and he drank a whole cup of it. I have never seen the kid put away a whole graham cracker that fast. I felt so bad for his empty little tummy.
I will end with a few thoughts.
(1) Joe is amazing. He is such a great Daddy, not to mention a wonderful husband. I feel so blessed to continue on this life’s journey with him. All the ups and the downs…we can handle together. We seem to find strength in the hardest times. Sometimes, it’s just one person’s strength that carries the other…and that’s ok. That is what marriage is all about.
(2) I know I already mentioned this, but we have the most amazing friends and family. What a great feeling to never feel alone. There is always someone out there that cares. Not everyone in this world has that, and I am very thankful for it.
(3) I still can’t describe or measure a “Mother’s Love” – it has no limit. And I am convinced it gets stronger, but how could it? That would mean it was “less” before?? And I don’t feel like I loved Nicholas “less,” EVER in his life. The events of the day were trying & traumatic for our family…but one thing is for certain. We were filled with love and surrounded by love. What a gift God gave us…to love.
(4) Walking out of the hospital’s front door with Nicholas’ small hand in mine, felt like a HUGE gift. He immediately spotted the fountain outside and got SO excited. Joe and I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. I kind of felt like letting him play in the water, because I know that’s exactly what he wanted to do. But – we were in a rush to get to dinner and feed our little guy.
(5) So, yes…..being a parent is hard. Very, very hard. I have never, nor will I EVER, say otherwise. Once you are in it, you are IN IT! As a parent, the last thing you want is to see your child in pain. And you will never understand the “pain” of a parent until you have a child of your own. After we found out NCL was ok, I called my Mom to tell her the news. Much relief all around….and then she said, “It’s so hard to see your kids suffer/in pain….that’s why I had such a hard time watching you in labor.” I remember looking into my Mom’s eyes and seeing the fear and tears in her eyes when I was ~8 cm dilated with Nicholas. That was definitely the most physical pain I have ever been in. I didn’t understand then……now I do.
Dinner at Souplanation – YUM! Home for bath and bed – oh yeah!
And, that……was a LaGreca Tuesday.
